Not your species, Monkey Boy

In response to what hopefully is the final tail-slapping video of “The Frenzied Errant Whale Saga: The Sequel,” I have some advice for the people in charge that might come in handy the next time a couple of ocean-going behemoths appear in waters in which you don’t think they belong. LEAVE THEM ALONE. GET OUT OF THEIR WAY. DON’T EVEN LOOK AT THEM. Let the immense beasts go their own way without your questionable assistance. They are not your species, monkey boy. You are helping the same way silverware helps a garbage disposal.

Especially when your idea of help consists of poking them with sticks, banging on pipes, spraying with fire hoses and piping underwater recordings of killer-whale noises near where you think they might be. Pretty much the watery equivalent of throwing crap against a wall and seeing what sticks. You had no idea what you were doing. You had no idea if it helped. You had no idea if you made it worse. Why? Because, listen closely: You Are Not A Whale.