I’m not a handyman. I truly wish I was, but it’s just not in my DNA. I can’t make a straight cut on a 2x4 to save my dog’s life. If you give me a hammer and a handful of nails, all you’re probably gonna get are bent nails. And I’m probably gonna get a smashed thumb. Then everyone within a three-block radius is probably gonna get to hear a combination of words they've never heard before. That’s about the only thing I can do as well as a construction worker.

What’s so frustrating is I have friends who are handy. They can do things like build decks, install windows, repair faucets, replace light fixtures and such. I’m so jealous. I’m doing good if I put in a new furnace filter with the arrow pointing in the right direction.