The zero-turn, gravity defying, nausea-inducing roller coaster ride that is Auburn football continues to operate at peak performance after all these years. It’s been under construction a number of times over the last 20 seasons, but it still flies around at breakneck speed and makes 180° turns on a dime defying the laws of physics. 

The LSU Tigers beat the real Tigers 38-17 on Saturday in Jordan Hare Stadium and that score doesn’t even fully illustrate how lopsided the game was overall. In fact, I’m finding it incredibly difficult to actually write something interesting about the game. I need some help. So, I’ve decided to litter this column with some quotes of the late, great John McKay to amuse myself and illustrate a few points. 

Andy Graham is a co-host of Auburn Blitz and his column appears here weekly.