My dad died last week.
Please don’t stop reading — this column isn’t what you think it is.
kAmkDA2?m|J >@> 5:65 H96? x H2D :? >J a_D 2?5 :E 492?865 >6] x H2E4965 96C E2=< 23@FE E96 >2?J A2E9D D96 4@F=5 E2<6] $96 H@F=5 E96? 92G6 `_ C62D@?D H9J D96 4@F=5?’E 5@ :E] %@ >J E66?286 D6=7[ 2== @7 96C 6I4FD6D H6C6 =2>6 2?5 x 5:DE:?4E=J C6>6>36C E6==:?8 96C D96 4@F=5 7:?5 2 H2J :7 D96 H2?E65 :E 325 6?@F89]k^DA2?mk^Am
kAmkDA2?m(96? D96 5:65[ :E 492?865 >6] x 56E6C>:?65 x H@F=5 AC@323=J ?@E >2<6 :E A2DE dd @C de 2?5 x 5:5?’E H2?E E@ 36 @? >J 562E9365[ E9:?<:?8 x 4@F=5 92G6 244@>A=:D965 >@C6 :7 x 925 @?=J EC:65]k^DA2?mk^Am
kAmkDA2?mx’> ?@E C:49[ ?@E 72>@FD[ 3FE x 92G6 2=H2JD 8@?6 @FE @? 2 =:>3 2?5 EC:65 E@ >2<6 E9:?8D 92AA6?] %96 C68C6E :D 6:E96C =6DD6?65 @C ;FDE ?@E E96C6 :7 J@F 2E =62DE ECJ E@ C6249 J@FC 8@2=D] (:E9 96C :? E96 324< @7 >:?5[ x H6?E @? :?E6CG:6HD E@ ;@3D x 5:5?’E E9:?< x 4@F=5 86E] p?5 x 5:5 86E E96>] x AFD965 >JD6=7 E@ =62C? ?6H E9:?8D :? @C56C E@ 6I46= 2E E96>]k^DA2?mk^Am
kAmkDA2?mp?5 :E H2D?’E ;FDE 23@FE H@C<] x’G6 2=H2JD E@=5 >J <:5D H96? J@F 2C6 C2:D:?8 J@FC @H? E@ E2<6 E96 E9:?8D E96J =62C?65 7C@> 9@H E96:C 525 2?5 x C2:D65 E96>] z66A H92E H@C<65[ 492?86 H92E 5:5?’E] }@ DF49 E9:?8 2D 2 A6C764E A2C6?E] x 2=D@ 5:5 E9:D] %96C6 H6C6 E9:?8D >J >@> E2F89E >6 E92E x 5:5?VE C62=:K6 E96? H6C6 G2=F23=6[ 2?5 x EC2D965 E96 “49:=5C6? D9@F=5 36 D66? 2?5 ?@E 962C5” >2?EC2] tG6CJ A2C6?E:?8 564:D:@? x >256 H6?E 324< :? D@>6 H2J E@ >J >@>] k^DA2?mk^Am
kAmkDA2?m(:E9 >J 525[ :E H2D 5:776C6?E] uC@> 9:> x =62C?65 E@ H@C< 92C5 2?5 D9@H FA] x =62C?65 9@H E@ 32=2?46 >J 6>@E:@?D H:E9 C62D@?] x =62C?65 2 8@@5 5255J 5@6D?’E ?646DD2C:=J E6== J@F 2== E96 E:>6 96 =@G6D J@F — 96 ;FDE D9@HD J@F] x =62C?65 A2E:6?46 2?5 x =62C?65 E92E A2C6?ED 2C6 2 49:=5’D 7:CDE 2?5 36DE E62496C]k^DA2?mk^Am
kAmkDA2?m(96? >J 3C@E96C 2?5 x H6C6 2=@?6 7@C 2 76H >:?FE6D 2E E96 9@DA:E2=[ x =@@<65 2E 9:> 2?5 D2:5 “x H@?56C 9@H E9:D H:== 492?86 >6]”k^DA2?mk^Am
kAmkDA2?mp=@?8 H:E9 2== @7 E96 @E96C 6>@E:@?D E92E 8@ 2=@?8 H:E9 8C:6G:?8[ E92E BF6DE:@? :D 2E E96 7@C67C@?E 7@C >6] (:== x 24EF2==J 492?86 2 A2CE @7 >6 7@C E96 36EE6C @C H:== x ;FDE <66A 5@:?8 H92E x’G6 366? 5@:?8n w6 ?6G6C 925 2 D:56 @7 9:> E92E x H2?E65 E@ 4@CC64E :? >JD6=7 =:<6 >J >@> 5:5] qFE >2J36 E96C6’D 2 A2CE @7 9:> x 4@F=5 6>F=2E6 6G6? >@C6]k^DA2?mk^Am
kAmkDA2?m(96? J@F =@D6 D@>6@?6 E92E :D :>A@CE2?E E@ J@F :E 42? 36 92C5 E@ AF== D@>6E9:?8 A@D:E:G6 @FE @7 E96:C 562E9] qFE :E’D E96C6 :7 J@F =@@< 7@C :E] q642FD6 @7 >J >@>’D D:>A=6 C6=:8:@FD 65F42E:@?[ x <?@H >J 525’D 3@5J :D 8@?6[ 3FE 9:D D@F= :D?’E] x <?@H :7 x E2=< E@ 9:>[ 96 H:== 36 23=6 E@ 962C >6] %92E’D 4@>7@CE:?8]k^DA2?mk^Am
kAmkDA2?mp?5 >2J36 9:D 562E9 H@?’E AC@7@F?5=J 492?86 >6 E96 H2J >J >@>’D 5:5] |2J36 ;FDE H2E49:?8 9:> :? =:76 2?5 ECJ:?8 E@ 36 =:<6 9:> :D 6?@F89]k^DA2?mk^Am

